Monday, November 1, 2010

What's on your Back Burner?

A few years ago I asked my Aunt “What do you do when your heart is broken and you can’t seem to go on?” My Aunt had recently lost 2 of her 5 grown Children within a year of each other. I was struggling with some loss in my own family so I figured she would have the answer. My Aunt turned to me and in a very matter of fact way said, “Dear, you put it on the Back Burner.”

Being a visual person, I immediately envisioned what her back burner looked like. Pots piled high to the ski, bubbling over with sauces. Steam and smoke rising, and it all just teeter totting on the edge of complete collapse. I have to admit I was bewildered by my wise aunts’ response. I had expected something more profound, something that would save my miserable soul.

So I gave it a try. It wasn’t easy at first but as I started to ignore some of my sadness and pain, and replace it with happy activities and thought. I started to survive. I’m not saying that we should put everything on a Back Burner but on the occasion when something is killing you and making you unable to function, it works. Since my Back Burner was pretty much overflowing, any additional pain was given away. I just let it go, cast it to the wind.

Time does heal, that doesn’t mean there aren’t scars and redness. Time softens and numbs events in your life. Time also changes things. Time gives life opportunity to make corrections. "Loss has value. Loss teaches us what we have. It teaches us how to recognize and treasure the smallest of blessings in our lives. "

My Back Burner is under control right now. I’ve had a chance to clean up, throw out, and focus on the here and now. Perhaps that is what my Aunt was trying to tell me, to focus on what I have instead of what I don’t, and may never get back. I’m sure my Back Burner will be used again. I’m not sure I’ll put it all back there, some of it I might just discard.

What's on your Back Burner?

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