Thursday, October 28, 2010

99 weeks

I have known for 3 month’s that my office is shutting down and I will soon be out of a job. Although the exact date is still vague the signs are all around. As furniture, phones, and personnel leave it become more and more apparent the end is near. I have talked with many people that have recently lost their jobs. Most of them compare their emotions to the "Grieving Process."

1 is Shock. I was called into my boss’s office thinking I was going to be congratulated on leading our office to victory in the fitness challenge. I was told the office was closing and I would no longer have a job.

2 is Denial and Disbelief. I was just part of a growing exciting business with people that cared about me. I was part of a team. Now I was being told “we don’t need you anymore.”

3 is Bargaining. I am pretty good at this…pleading with God and the Universe to make this not so, “I’ll be so good if only I can awake to find….” This step went by pretty quickly as I’ve learned it’s a real waste of energy.

4 is Guilt. Now this has always been my favorite step. Blaming myself for everything, even wondering if I had done things I didn’t even know I had done. This can also be called “trying to make sense out of something that don’t make no sense.” This step can drive you crazy and make you loose lots of sleep. I am very good at this.

5 is Anger. I have a special form of anger…it’s called humor. This stage has helped me bond with my coworkers and honestly talk about our feelings. Some of it has not been nice but we have sure gotten some good laughs.

6 is Depression. I have never been great at detecting depression in myself. I do know that for me it’s the feeling of loneliness and isolation. Feeling lost is a good thing. Once you realize you are lost you start to look for yourself. Friends will always tell you when you have gone missing.

7 is Resignation, Acceptance, and Hope. About 4 weeks ago I started getting up early to exercise again. I started to think about my future and how I could best use my talents and my time. I started to put myself ahead of my job, something I should have aways done.

Congress did something that it has never done before; it extended unemployment benefits to 99 weeks. That’s almost 2 years of searching. I sure hope it doesn’t take that long. What started out as shock and sadness has turned into extra time and new goals. I guess you call that Hope.

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